Spring has finally sprung in Boston… Today is a hybrid between April showers and May flowers. I had to get out to take a walk to get my mind right. There are so many amazing things in the works and sometimes I feel like the hardest part is being patient and waiting for things to unfold in their right time.

Time… Timing.

Sometimes things happen that make me feel like time and/or timing is not working with me… but after the fact, when I look back, I see that timing was always perfect. It just doesn’t always look like it when things are unfolding into the unknown. Today I remind myself of that… everything happens for a reason, and it happens exactly when it’s supposed to happen.

A closeup for Day 20 of #100DaysofINKDrops – things are a bit crazy at the moment, trying to stay on top of it all. Sometimes it feels like I’m sinking…

Day 13/100 – Loving where this new style of playing with ink drops is taking me. I could play with water, ink, lines, and random tools all day long. Gonna start making bigger and bigger pieces.

P.S. I didn’t have time to edit my photo today, so I’m just posting it as is.

 

Sometimes I wonder where she is… the sassy, breezy girl I used to be. The one that grabbed life by the colorful scarf and lived with such gusto. I just need to pull myself together… and up out of this rut. Aint nobody gonna do it for me.

I’m so over it.

I’m thinking back on this last week and a half, wondering why life is kicking my ass so badly. I have been dealing with physical illness, exhaustion, and a nightmare of a family vacation, on top of which seemingly evil hands at work behind the scenes make my life miserable in the form of long waits, heavy loads, disappointing responses, etc. There are moments when I want to just throw a toddler tantrum (which is the most epic of all tantrums, I am learning) but I do my best to keep it all together hoping that this string of “bad luck” will just pass.

What’s different now than in the past is that with everything I’ve been studying about the manifestation of all our innermost thoughts, I can’t help but turn my inquiries inward. What ill thoughts and feelings am I harboring that are infiltrating my life? What fear and doubt am I permitting to manifest into anxiety and undesirable conditions? Am I harboring an attitude of gratitude and abundance or an attitude of entitlement and scarcity? Am I braced for good things or am I braced for disaster? That which we brace ourselves for, we will likely bring upon ourselves.

As expected, I am not faultless on any of these counts. I need to turn things around… but it has to start from within and it has to start at the start. My morning pages and morning art sessions have fallen to the wayside this past week and a half with the traveling and time differences but I am going to get back on track. Let’s start at the start.

 

Day 10 of 100 Days… in celebration, I published some of my favorite #CMBOS 100Dayer posts to the CreativeMornings/Boston profile and it’s been so great to shine some light on our awesome participants. At first I thought it would be very hard to facilitate the local support group, but I am finding so much love and light from within the group that I find myself inspired in spite of exhaustion, sickness, and endless lists of things that must be done. That’s why it’s called a labor of love, I suppose.