A closeup for Day 20 of #100DaysofINKDrops – things are a bit crazy at the moment, trying to stay on top of it all. Sometimes it feels like I’m sinking…

Day 13/100 – Loving where this new style of playing with ink drops is taking me. I could play with water, ink, lines, and random tools all day long. Gonna start making bigger and bigger pieces.

P.S. I didn’t have time to edit my photo today, so I’m just posting it as is.

 

Sometimes I wonder where she is… the sassy, breezy girl I used to be. The one that grabbed life by the colorful scarf and lived with such gusto. I just need to pull myself together… and up out of this rut. Aint nobody gonna do it for me.

I’m so over it.

I’m thinking back on this last week and a half, wondering why life is kicking my ass so badly. I have been dealing with physical illness, exhaustion, and a nightmare of a family vacation, on top of which seemingly evil hands at work behind the scenes make my life miserable in the form of long waits, heavy loads, disappointing responses, etc. There are moments when I want to just throw a toddler tantrum (which is the most epic of all tantrums, I am learning) but I do my best to keep it all together hoping that this string of “bad luck” will just pass.

What’s different now than in the past is that with everything I’ve been studying about the manifestation of all our innermost thoughts, I can’t help but turn my inquiries inward. What ill thoughts and feelings am I harboring that are infiltrating my life? What fear and doubt am I permitting to manifest into anxiety and undesirable conditions? Am I harboring an attitude of gratitude and abundance or an attitude of entitlement and scarcity? Am I braced for good things or am I braced for disaster? That which we brace ourselves for, we will likely bring upon ourselves.

As expected, I am not faultless on any of these counts. I need to turn things around… but it has to start from within and it has to start at the start. My morning pages and morning art sessions have fallen to the wayside this past week and a half with the traveling and time differences but I am going to get back on track. Let’s start at the start.

 

Day 10 of 100 Days… in celebration, I published some of my favorite #CMBOS 100Dayer posts to the CreativeMornings/Boston profile and it’s been so great to shine some light on our awesome participants. At first I thought it would be very hard to facilitate the local support group, but I am finding so much love and light from within the group that I find myself inspired in spite of exhaustion, sickness, and endless lists of things that must be done. That’s why it’s called a labor of love, I suppose.

With an unprecedented lapse of 6 days since my last post, one can easily imagine that the “rough” traveling got “rougher.”

One would be right.

Sick toddler, trouble with accommodations, jet lag, time difference, etc… all lead to one giant heaping mess. Our family of three has never been more grateful to be in our own little home.

In the spirit of catching up on the posts, I am putting all of my recent 100 Day project posts here in chronological order:

Day 4/100 – Got kicked about 5 Dozen times last night by the cutest little toddler feet but we are making this happen. I’m a work-from-home mom so I get to spend a bunch of time with my little one, but I’m feeling EXTRA maternal spending 24/7 with her on this trip. It’s kinda nice, albeit exhausting. I know one day she’ll be all grown up… this phase goes by so quickly. I’m soaking it up. <3

Day 5/100 – My toddler is obsessed with fish – we draw, sketch, and paint them endlessly. She had a rough jet lag day today and may be coming down with something so we took it easy and we sat and drew lots of fish. “Mommy, draw el pescado please.” No joke, she even sleep talked about it. Lol.

Day 6/100 – As a mother, nothing quite breaks your heart as much as watching your child suffer any pain or deprivation. Baby girl had a 102 fever yesterday, still so jet lagged, and not eating out well because she is missing home cooking… and she is just in protest mode.

Day 7/100 – A half hour poolside while the morning shade protected us… just to get some fresh air with our sick little babe. Took the opportunity to do a little something… totally not my fave, but it was an experiment and it gives me something to work with. Most importantly, it is done.

Day 8/100: Even though this trip has been a disaster, and even though this family of three has been tested and tried, I can honestly say I feel blessed to have my little family. This too shall pass. Flying home today.

Day 9/100 (today): I always thought of home sickness as a mental and emotional state of painful longing, but I learned on this trip that it can be physical pain as well. I missed our home so dreadfully… I know the hubs and kiddo missed home as much as I did. We are all in happy (sleepy) recovery mode.